Reality
by Jigglypuff
Summary: | | the life of a lone soul | |


Reality  
| | life story of a lost person | |  
a fictious autobiography of Jigglypuff  
By Jigglypuff  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
[a/n] Hi! All of you Zelda section veterans might remember a story that was entitled "Jigglypuff's Autobiography" and was labeled as 80% Zelda. This is a remake of that particular fanfic. All newbies, go ahead and ignore this. Enjoy.  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
Book One  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
Chapter One:Hallucinations  
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diary | 10.28.05  
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Hello. I'm Jigglypuff.  
  
How did I get my name? Crazy thought, but I picked it randomly. You'll find out. Besides...I want my actual name to stay hidden.  
  
What happened to me...If this makes it back out into the world where I lived in, you will know the truth.  
Here I go.  
----------------------  
My life was a glorious one. Sweet smelling grass on the front yard. A backyard with my pet dog, Scribbles. Nice neighbors.  
An uneducated school, though.  
The teachers there actually let students saying cuss words slip through their hands.  
Most of the students are bullies.  
Nearly all of them revolve around violence AND are spoiled.  
Only a select few are sane.  
I am one of the sane ones. Usually, we try to stay hidden among the "popular" kids. It's a cruel, cruel, world out there.  
Have I told you enough? No?  
Well, there's this alternate world called Hyrule that exists in a video game world. If you've played "The Legend Of Zelda:Ocarina Of Time", then you're going to understand.  
Do you also know about "Pokémon"? Good.  
For those who don't, you'll get the hang of it anyways.  
Anyways, I was obsessed witht he game at that time. A super "Dance Dance Revolution" freak who beat all the tournaments there were, even when some of them were lying that they were supreme. A very average, yet special, kid. A person who had A's on every progress report.  
All of those things could describe me.  
I was playing baseball with a bunch of my sane friends.  
The score was 3 to 5.  
I was 15.  
Everything was going just as time should.  
"Next up to bat...Clement."  
Yes, my name's Clement. Not my real name, but it should be less disturbing than "Jigglypuff".  
I went and grabbed my titanium bat and was looking at the player. This pitcher had a thing I could nearly sense about which pitch he was going to throw.  
It was a curveball. I got ready to swing.  
The sound of a swish brought my attention.  
I thwacked it hard. The ball was going towards the school. Over the houses.  
It's a good thing we had so many baseballs in reserve.  
I ran. First base, I stepped over. Second base on the horizon.  
One of the opposing players decided to take a reserve ball and throw it.  
I slid...and time stopped.  
It was really sickening. You can't move anything. Yet you can't see anything either. You're being transported to an alternate universe...and there's no way to stop it.  
My body was changing. What the hell was going on out here?  
Time restored.  
I was sliding. Straight into...a Deku Baba. I was very suprised, because I had thought I was going to hit that base. It also looked like I was in a video game of some sort. I guess the Baba had been suprised too.  
And I guess he must've been hungry He lunged toward me. I heard several voices as I passed out.  
"What the? Hey, there's a pink guy here with a Deku Baba that's trying to eat him."  
A female voice appeared.  
"YAHHHHHH!"  
The Baba had let out a final squeak of sorrow. I could feel warm hands. Then, three pairs of them.  
I was being lifted up, a bit closer to heaven.  
---------------------------  
diary | 10.29.05  
---------------------------  
"Wake up."  
"Unh...jigglyjig..."  
"NOW!"  
The blanket got swept off me. I woke up.  
I was a roundish pink ball with green eyes, pointy ears, and a curly wig-like thing on my head.  
I was a Jigglypuff.  
"Jiggly?"  
"Hang on, you'll be okay." said a very hyper, yet charming, voice. It came from the other side of the room where a certain person sat.  
"I'll be right back."  
Then the girl left.  
I looked at myself again. It was enough energy to break the mirror with just one hit.  
Then again, wasn't I a Pokémon? Don't I have special powers?  
I tried using Pound. It made an indentation on the floor.  
"Pufff." I had meant to say, "Damn."  
"Hello. Drink this."  
The girl had come back, this time with a bottle.  
And the girl was a kid. Looking 12 years old. I swear she looked like Saria. You know, from Ocarina Of Time?  
"Welcome. To Kokiri Forest."  
I was right. It shocked me. I was in a psuedo-world, made only by my desire.  
"Aren't you going to, you know, drink that?"  
She was right. I did need to drink it.  
I swallowed it and tried to speak my feelings.  
"Hello...Saria."  
"YES! IT WORKS!"  
I could speak now.  
"How do you know my name though?"  
"I have a feelign of deja vu, ya know."  
"I could sense it too. Clement...was it?"  
She knew my name. I knew hers. How could that be?  
I walked out. I fell down.  
"WHOOAAAAAAAA!"  
All the Kokiri noticed me. They laughed, and continued their play.  
Saria was laughing too.  
"This is Link's House. He has a rope ladder....you know how it is."  
"Yeah. I know how it feels like now to fall from Link's house."  
"Wow! You know humor!"  
"YEAH! MAKE US LAUGH!"  
"Tonight."  
~~~~~~~~~  
Later that day, Saria brought word to all the Sages that a pink fellow (me) had come. They told that they can come tonight (which was Campfire Night).  
Campfire Night had a great turnout. Apparently, Ruto was touching Link. EVERYWHERE.  
Even in the...well...aagh, you should know by now if you've studied human anatomy.  
Zelda was...how to put it?...horny too. She was fighting with Ruto.  
So was Malon. Who else was?  
Rauru was...I know for sure. He was sitting really damn close to Saria. Eww. Was everyone immature like this?  
Then again, it's only a video game. Calm down, Jigglypuff....calm down!  
I breathed, then I told another joke.  
I went up to Ruto.  
"Hi, Ruto."  
"Hi. Do you think Link finds me attractive?"  
"Only one way to find out. Have you ever heard of the Peahat crash today?"  
"No."  
"One went here, one went here, *slap!*"  
Ruto fell unconsious. Everybody laughed.  
"That should keep her AWAY from Link as far as possible. Sorry Ruto. You're not elgible."  
I walked back towards my wooden seat.  
"Okay. Do you know anything about Link's mother?"  
"Yeah."  
"She's so hairy, she shaved her @$$ and disappeared."  
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"  
I told one joke after another. They loved me.  
I WAS SO SPECIAL! I WAS A STAR!  
Just kidding. Heh heh heh heh...  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
diary | 11.04.05  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
I didn't know what to expect. After all, I was trapped in a video game reality.  
The Kokiri set up a concert for me. Not a big one, but this little comedy and dancing show thingamajig.  
People loved it. I was an actual star. Could you believe that? A pink puff becoming a star?  
I guess karaoke helped me. There was this time...Ah yes, this is perfect.  
("Bohemian Rhapsody" starts)  
Is this the real life?  
Is this just a fantasy?  
Caught in a landslide with  
I forgot I forgot....^^  
Open your eyes...  
Look up to the skies and see...  
(ends)  
Well, this was the intro, at least. It goes through very peculiar things. The plot: A poor boy tells the story of her mama killing a man, and he goes down to hell, and he escapes. Pretty simple? Not if you actually heard it before.  
And after weeks of concerts, they actually started to grow on me.  
They made CDs. They made videos. They made games with my label on it.  
They also inserted me into "Pokémon". That was my greatest mistake ever.  
But one thing was certain:The nondescript shade of the world was starting to welcome me.  
I smiled.  
For now, I had to sleep, eat, walk, do the many things I do in a world of fantasy.  
At least....for now.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
diary | 11.05.05  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
If you lived without electricity for a day, you'd go insane.  
Think of how much I've been through.  
No more Internet connection. No more Dance Dance Revolution.  
But what surprised me this day was-  
"Video games? Oh. Follow me."  
Thoughts were swirling in my mind. A Gamecube? A PS2? An Xbox?  
When Saria opened the curtains to her "SECRET LAIR OF DOOM!", I gasped.  
There were handheld video games.  
2D video games.  
They weren't even state-of-the-art.  
And all of them featured a black guy with an assortment of who-knows-what.  
I was staring at a collection of Game and Watch games. The entire collection, all brought into this place. I whistled smoothly.  
"Damn, Saria. Where'd you get these?"  
"The Kokiri Shop."  
Wow....the Kokiri Shop actually sold GAME AND WATCHES?  
Saria held a gold plated one.  
"I like these. They're fun. Soemtimes, they have those metal things, so then you can battle with another person."  
"Cool."  
"Wanna play?"  
"Don't. I know I'll beat you?"  
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"  
We played. She beat me.  
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" she said again.  
"Uh...nothing. Mimblewimble..."  
I spent all day trying to make a computer. It was hard, because you had to use the Deku Sticks for covers and Baba veins for transistors.  
The only thing was the size of the drive. It was made out of thin bark from the Deku Tree.  
It, ironically, was two whole terabytes. 2,048 gigabytes of memory. Enough to backup 1000 DVDs or so.  
I tried making electricity. I had a wooden bike I got from the Kokiri shop. I had used one of Saria's Game And Watches and took a Kokiri that was obsessed with them.   
He'd play the game, and by oddly playing the game, he made the bike run, and he sent enough electricity for me to play one mission of "Half-Life". He got paid 20 rupees for doing it. And I paid him often.  
Until they wanted to use the computer, too.  
The Kokiri were transfixed on my playing Half-Life. Even Saria admitted that these 3D graphics were better than old dusty Game and Watches.  
Until they got tired of it.  
Now I needed an Internet connection.  
And I needed it fast. 


End file.
